I See, Hear and Love YOU, Too!

Children of large families can sometimes feel lost in conversations of past events, vacations or just of times gone by with older siblings. They can feel lonely at times even in the midst of many others living in the home. I have heard from people who had many siblings that the older children were responsible for the needs of the younger ones and that they felt as if they were always receiving the leftovers…leftover toys, clothes and leftover attention.

It has been my consideration as a mama of many children to leave no child feeling alone, unimportant or left out. Of course, no matter how hard I have tried, I am certain that in each of our children’s eyes I have fallen short of my hearts desire time and time again. Yet, as we still have three of our ten children living at home, I continue to stay the course because each one of them matter greatly to me.

Along this journey of parenting, for now over 31 years, I have found a few ways to engage our children along their journey in our home. They are so special to me. What a privilege it is to have birthed them and have the opportunity to nurture and train them daily. God has blessed each one with unique gifts and talents. I want them to know that I see, hear and love them as an individual.

As they demonstrate an area of interest, I investigate it on my own so that I can hold an intelligent conversation with them. For example, if it is a sports team, I look up their current team roster, stats and or schedule. I listen attentively when they share and I respond as I can with a few facts of my own. This has afforded us many conversations and even some camaraderie.

Many of our children have artistic talent and have shared their creations and even the interest to learn more or to present their work to others. Again, I have researched and gone back to them with enthusiasm and information to assist them along their way. Joining them with knowledge and encouragement has not only blessed them, but it has blessed me to learn more about their area of interest, about them and about myself.

I found that one of the most important ways I have been able to embrace our children is by observing and asking them about their acquaintances and friends. Through these conversations, I have been able to help create opportunities for them to get to know others one on one instead just in a group. During the Summer months we have Friends Day once a week at our home. Each one of our children can invite one friend over to hangout, have a meal and swim. Other times of the year, I encourage them to invite their friend to our home to maybe play a game, watch sports and of course have a snack or a meal together. The benefit of having them in our home is that I can get to know them as well. Whether I am directly engaging with them or I am able to observe indirectly, I too can become familiar with them. We can later have conversations about their relationship that is more interesting and insightful.

These are a few of the things that I do to develop a more intimate relationship with our children. They have given me opportunities to encourage them in areas that really mean something to them. It lets them know for sure that we see, hear and love them. I must say this is done with great intention and it takes time and the greatest blessing that has come out of these sacrifices is that it builds a firm foundation for a lasting relationship unto their adulthood.

What are somethings you are doing or have done to let your child/children know they are seen, heard and loved?