One of my husband’s greatest desires when we started our family was that our children be close. What did that mean exactly? Though I was not sure exactly what “he” meant, I knew what it meant to me.
I am one of four children. My mother had two boys and two girls. One of my brothers died as an infant to crib death before I was born. Growing up in a family of three, in a single parent home came with much responsibility. We were taught to be independent and reliable, but not relational. Today my brother is deceased and my sister and I are cordial.
My desire for our children was for them to learn to love and respect one another, to be relational. I wanted them to choose to embrace each one as they would a friend and to honor each one as a gift because God had blessed them so. A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17
We have ten children. Each one has been given nine gifts, nine siblings. There is absolutely no reason to go at this life alone or without unless you choose to do so. I learned from my experience that not choosing TO do or have something is by default choosing NOT to do or have something. I chose to teach our children to learn to live with one another and to embrace one another. I know that there were differences and that they did not always want to be with or engage one another, but I presented it as necessary. I would say to them often, “ you are your brother’s keeper”.
We have homeschooled all of our children. They lived, schooled, worked and played together each day. When there was a disagreement or an offense I encouraged them to communicate. If they did not want to be together they could choose to be alone for a time and then they were to return with an apology. I insisted that we carry on with life after these incidents as we were before them, holding no grudge.
This became our lifestyle. My hope was that it offered peace in their heart as it offered peace in our home. As the years have gone by and we now have grown children, I am so grateful to see them engage one another on purpose. Of course, they dislike things that are said and done and yes, they disagree, but there is certainly a genuine love and respect that is bound between them. They encourage and support one another, do things together and help with one another’s pets and children. My husband and I are grateful to the Lord for his wisdom and strength over the years. Their relationships are a blessing to each other and to our hearts.
Fruit of Her Hand 